One thing all women would love to be able to do is be ready for sex at the drop of a hat…
Great article from Intimacy 4Us. In the mood in five minutes. I love # 7.
7. Watch him while he washes the dishes
There are few things as sexy as a man who knows his way around a washing machine or a wok! And if he’s only wearing jeans, or an apron… all the better.
OK guys. How many of you would love it if she only wore an apron while washing the dishes? See, you can set the example. Take turns each night washing the dishes this way. (Now where do I send the kids for the evening? Thinking… Hey there’s that new Star Trek movie I was wanting to see. I could miss it for this, and just send the kids/teens.)
More seriously, ladies, there are some great tips for low libidos… I still like # 7. Can’t get my mind off of that.
#8 Works. I always feel sexy when I have something silky or lacy on. Hey, I see my panties SO many times a day with all this water I drink for my milk production. Because we bosom four times a day, he gets to see them often too.
Men if you are reading this, encourage her to shop for new bras and panties often. For a long time I wouldn’t wear them for everyday, because lets face it, items this delicate can only take so many wearing-days and washings. I felt like I was being a good frugal wife by wearing sturdier undergarments daily and saving my dainties for special occasions. Then I realized that wearing these dainties was just as much, if not more, of a daily treat for my husband as for me. No longer feeling selfish for wearing them… I now accept having to buy then more often. I figure it is one of the few luxury habits I have. Every time I go into the department store I look at the sales racks. If there is something that I really want that is not on sale, I get it anyway. Would you believe that my husband has never complained about how much I spend on this? 
If I am working in the garden, I wear a cotton tank that is snug enough for support and cotton and undies. The snugness and nipple see through of the tanks have their own appeal. I wear another top over this because of our children…. but I still feel sexy out in the garden, because I know what I know.
Numbers 1 through 10 are all good. I will add # 11.
#11. Splurge on good razors and shaving gel, also lush feeling and smelling body moisturizers. Get one with a tanning tint if you like to keep a bronzed look. Use them every day. If you shave everyday, it goes faster and your skin is use to it, so you have less of a problem with shaving rash. I always feel sexy if my legs and other shaved areas are smooth and silky. Don’t be frugal on the blades… when they no longer do the job change them. Cut your budget somewhere else. Seriously. Guys, you can help here. Encourage her to spoil herself with quality products that make her feel sexy. Once she finds something she likes, buy them for her.
The Star: I want to say again, (guys pay attention too,) that the star in libido boosters for women is ~feeling connected to her man. This means sharing intimacy on many levels in many areas in life, emotional and spiritual as well as physical. Hold hands whenever you can, call throughout the day for quick “hello”s or IM. Share some laughter, pleasant surprises, whispers, and a little tickling. This isn’t something you do in the hours before sex; you do it all the time. Take short walks together, it is good exercise and gets the blood flowing. They can be slow; holding hands, and talking. We feel atractive and loved if we are worth the attention of our men outside of the bedroom. Re-connect and stay connected. Hint: Bosom relationships help with this.
Yep, most women just aren’t naturally highly sexual it seems. It would be ripe material for academia to study whether or not nature or nurture plays a bigger role in this.
While several of the recommendations on the website seem suitable, I cannot help but be reminded of the “marital distress” wrought by wives who are intimate with their spouses in every way but the physical. Looking over “mismatched libidos” forums I can’t help but gawk, as if at a horrible traffic accident, of the emotional pain caused by distance within this one critical area of a relationship.
Perhaps that was one section that should have been elaborated on, so I’ll make my own addition:
#13: Above all, realize how much of a part physical intimacy (including the sexual kind) means to an intimate marriage, and how much it can enhance one. When both of you give, and give freely, of yourself in this area, you are left with more, not less, and more able to love deeper than you would without.
How do I know this even with my limited knowledge and experience? I’m not even sure myself . . .
As always, it is good t hear from you , my friend. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
I am finding out that this is not true. It is just that the men voice that problem more. It is more acceptable for them too, and it is often the used in jokes and such. The idea that a wife has a higher sexual drive than her husband can be devastating to the man’s ego if made public. She would look like a real _____ (pick your word,) if she brought it out in the open. With the anonymity of Internet forums, and information put out by professional therapist more available, we are starting to hear more about it.
So far it does seem to still hold true that women take longer to “get in the mood” and more affects her mood. If her sexual self is fueled by the right circumstances, the woman is a VERY sexual creature.
Societies view and standards on what makes a woman attractive are a lot harder to live up to, and this affects her self-image. I don’t see this getting any better, but I do see boys and men starting to face more of these unfair expectations. The lack of a six pack ab and a head full of hair is at least still accepted among married men.
Societies have also for generations labeled a sexual woman as “naughty.” “Sexual mothers” is something society is still resisting. We are getting better at accepting the idea of sexually charged young college aged women and older midlife women, but the idea of a sexually charged mother still offends people. The “Madonna” factor still carries weight in our perceptions and expectations.
As women mature and realize the lies fed to them by society and religious piety, they are being freed and discovering their sexual self.
One more bone to pick…. When men are sexually dysfunctional they are seeking help from doctors, therapists, and little blue pills. Their wives will encourage them to seek help. How many men just complain when their wives are having problems? How many men use it for an excuse to seek pleasure elsewhere instead of insisting on professional help? Society is more likely to forgive them when they do. When a woman steps out because her emotional or sexual needs are not being met… especially if she has children at home… it is another story. Whether she is the one with the higher drive or the one needing help for a sexual dysfunction, she is more likely suffer in silence.
If there is a problem with either spouse’s sexual drive, they need to insist on professional help until it is fixed. Yes it is expensive, and yes they will have to take time off of work and maybe get a sitter… The alternatives, including messy affairs, prostitutes, or divorce lawyers are not any cheaper or less time consuming. Why suffer when there is help out there?
“Sexual Mothers” I like that term…although I’m very glad I don’t have one, (don’t ask why). I seem to live in a happy a-sexual home, and I wouldn’t change it at all.
As for men and their ego. EGO BAD!!!! I would LOVE/PREFER to have a women that had a higher libido than me. That way, I won’t have to worry so much about being the one with un-met needs. Also it bugs me to no end to think of myself as having a sexual side, (shudder). So if she’s the sexual one, then that works out a lot nicer for me.
Hey! Glad to see your comment and know you have stopped by. I always appreciate your contributions.
I do suppose one of the reasons as to why men in relationships suffering from desire discrepancies choose the more destructive alternatives is because they don’t want to admit to themselves that there is problem and they need the help of others to fix it. Ego again gets in the way.
But perhaps the men themselves are not entirely to blame for this attack of egotism. Western society idealizes men who are self-reliant and able to figure their way out of problems–unfortunately this also means giving out the impression of “being in charge” even if you aren’t actually in control of your problems.
Actually, I got a different impression when wives leave their men because of sexual problems. Just like a woman can destroy a man’s reputation just by screaming “RAPE!” if they’re alone in a room even if he’s doing nothing, I’ve gotten the impression that due to the unspoken convention that “all men are closet rapists, abusers, etc.” if the exact details of a woman’s ventures for satisfaction outside of a “conventional relationship” are not known, then usually the “trial by public opinion” will usually tilt in the woman’s favour because “it’s likely the man couldn’t help being a man.”
I, however, know that cads, cheats, and cuckolds come in all colours and genders. Would that more people realize this.
Yes, I do accept the fact that some women can learn to be highly sexual. However, I believe the directions of those urges also matters, just like a fast car is of no use if it won’t go where you want it too. I think I’ll talk about it more in an e-mail to you.