Life Happens! You have to go with the flow.
Many of us, I imagine, tend to post less on these sights when the nursing has decreased significantly or even ceased for a time. Like all things in life, even our ANR will ebb and flow. Illnesses, surgeries and the birth of a child bring change and often pain that disallow us to participate in the very things that bring us closer to our mate.
This has been our experience as well as others. Having to abstain from nursing while ill or in pain can be very frustrating but is normal. Be gentle with yourself and your loved one. When you are emotionally upset or are frustrated with the situation at hand, just remember that your circumstances WILL change. It is hard to remember that when we are in the “thick of it all”. But this too shall pass and things will be back to normal.
If you are the healthier mate at the time, do things that make your loved one feel valued and loved. Snuggling close together while watching a movie or just leaving them alone to get some much needed rest may be in order. Just ask them what they need. Sometimes when we are sick we aren’t even sure of what we need. Offering to draw a hot bath or make some soup may help…comfort measures as needed.
I recently have had a stomach virus that lasted about a week just prior to a minor surgical procedure. For two weeks my hubby had to take over all of the duties feeding us, doing the laundry all while working our home business alone. Now we both have terrible colds and we feel like crud! My DH never complained once while I cried having my own little pity party. That was the day the pain was at its worst. I took my Darvocet and all was right with the world again. These peri-menopausal years don’t help either. God help my husband; at times I feel like I’ve been invaded by the “body snatchers”. Hubby is most definitely my hero…he takes such great care of me. He is “The Man”! I thank God for him every day as he is the glue that holds everything together…the go-to guy.
Everyone experiences physical and emotional challenges from time to time. Stress affects even the very best marriages. Please feel free to share your story with us at Woman-essence; it may be the very thing that someone needs to hear right now.
Blessings to all as you snuggle, nuzzle, and bosom your loved one!
I am and will always,
Luvmyhub
An excellent post on the reality of dealing with everyday life, and the trials this can bring to the participants in ANR. I’m sure many read your postings, dreaming of a perfect nurturing relationship, unaffected by intrusions, and this is a reminder that desire and love may not always triumph over illness and various crises.
Thank you for your post, and the reassurance that lips and bosom will meet again in harmony and joy.
Thank you for your comments LW.
I am constantly reminded of my own human frailty. There are no perfect people and we don’t live in a perfect world…but my mate and I are perfect for each other! He is “my other me”. Sometimes life can get tough, but I am so blessed to have someone that is always there for me and always will be.
The human body’s health may change daily but true love stands forever.
Thank you for sharing of how the nursing can literally “ebb and flow” depending on how one’s health or circumstances may be. You do a great job of being candid in your situation, and you are right…it does help to know how things go in other’s lives. What a wonderful give we have, to take care of our spouse in their time of need….to give love and care and pampering too. My sweetie just had his back go out this past weekend, it was horrible. On one evening, I talked him into soaking in a hot tub of water and I read to him from the local paper that carries funny and unusual stories. I know he was feeling miserable, but we had fun gathered in the bathroom, even the 2 dogs had to be there…while I read jokes, short stories and my hubby relaxed and listened.
Keep taking good care of our loved ones….each of us!
Hubby is feeling better by the way-
rosebud
Thank you rosebud for your story and kind words. Yes, nursing ebbs and flows, just like other areas of intimacy in our lives do especially when one is ill or physically limited. Although these times can be frustrating, they also provide opportunities for the healthy mate to minister and care for the one who is ill. I’m guessing that your husband truly appreciated the way you cared for him that day when his back went out; how sweet that the whole family was present…aren’t dogs great?!
Luvmyhub- I am so glad you shared this here. The early joy and enthusiasm of your experience were so inspiring but so too are your experiences when life interferes. Your message of just riding the wave, going with the ebb and flow are so true. I believe being in an ANR helps couples move through these difficult times because we are brought so close by this relationship. It just may look different for a while. I hope soon you and your husband return to good health. You are both blessed with each other and caring for each other.
Rosebud-I sure hope your husband’s back is doing better! What a wonderful thing you did for him. Like a warm cocoon of love! My husband gets leg cramps at night (not often but maybe 2X/s a month). Last night he had two separate events. He tries not to wake me but I know that after he walks it out the most soothing and relaxing thing for him is to lay in bed and nurse. So I was ready both times to take him in my arms and bring him to my breasts. Of course he came willingly! They weren’t long sessions as he quickly went back to sleep both times. I stayed awake a bit longer just enjoying having his mouth gently rapped around my nipple. Although I’m a bit tired and had an early morning this morning, he is worth it.
Here’s to healthy husbands and the wives who love them! And all family members
Welcome JEM,
What a beautiful thing…when a husband will latch on in the middle of the night; a precious expression of love.
It’s like his life depends on it.
Thank you for sharing with us; it’s such a blessing to us all!
Luvmyhub
JEM- thank you for asking and yes, my dear hubby’s back is definitely doing better! I enjoyed reading of you sharing your experience, and what a blessing to be able to comfort our loved ones….awesome indeed! And I too, have enjoyed reading the personal sharing of warm loving stories by the ladies here.
This is probably one of the greatest validating websites I have ever encountered. For many years I have hoped my wife would appreciate my love of her, and how an ANR relationship could bring us closer. Alas I have been left feeling weird or strange for my passion to breastfeed. Thank-you for this amazing site. I can only hope to have the experience and pleasure someday, and return it in some day.
M.