A while back I read a poorly written book on a wonderful subject, which made it worth reading. The title is Imaginative Sex, written by John Norman.
In the book, Norman writes about how we as children use our imagination to add fun to our lives. I agree with him, that it is a shame that as adults we often lose that capability.
There are some adults who role play through the form of video games. That is deemed “normal” for adults. Yet, erotic role play in the bedroom has become something we don’t talk about, as if it is taboo.
Of course many of us don’t talk to our friends about the details of our bedroom life, but even talking about erotic role play as a general topic is something people find embarrassing. It is often the butt of jokes and scripts on comedian shoes. It is great to be able to laugh, but we shouldn’t regulate imaginative sex to a place of ridicule.
In his book, Norman gives script ideas for couples who lack imagination or simply like to start with an idea and take it on their own from there. I am not going to go so far as to recommend buying the book. If you have any imagination at all, you don’t need to purchase it. If you have ten bucks to blow and a kindle to read when you get bored, and most importantly, you can stand grammar that is on par or worse than mine, then maybe.
Mostly I just wanted to bring up the idea. I recommend that you talk to your spouse about it. You can use my post as a spring board for your conversation. Then take an at home date night and lock yourselves in the bedroom. Make some preparations before hand if necessary. If you both have an idea of what role you are going to play, you can think about your part and what you might do or say. You might even dress for it.
Hey, how about starting off with a farmer and a milkmaid. 
Guys love it when their ladies become a wildcat.
Guys can be a knight in shining armor.
How about taking him or her prisoner?
A little part time sex slave or bondage?
Butler or maid etc.
Really get into it and have a good time.
As you play and have fun together, you might find you want to quietly extend the roles of a week or more at a time. You will have this little insider information to carry around between you.
You might find you have a dominant or submissive personality as each one of you takes a certain type of role. Who is going to be the policeman or policewoman for example? If you see a pattern develop, I suggest you can read up on “sensual power exchange.” I have found it very self enlightening for us as a couple. Our ANR fits in nicely. If you live in a traditional “HOH,” (husband is head of the home,) like us, then you already have a form of power exchange that isn’t readily acceptable to modern society. “Don’t knock it until you try it.” LOL.
The previous post is an erotic story that describes a sensual power exchange and has some imaginative wonder to it. Some of you were wondering where it came from. Now you know. Read the post before that, and you will see it coming. All this self honesty and discovery, all the safe vulnerability to play, letting out secret fantasies, and our acceptance of our kinky fetishes; a close relationship is what makes it all possible. I credit the closeness to our ANR.
Imagination can spice up any facet of life, even in the bedroom.
Are you going to make more blog posts before the new year?
Signed,
TrashCanFoundling
HisMilkmaid,
Those are wonderful suggestions, though for some even very close couples, bridging the gap between private longings and speaking them openly can be challenging.
Here’s a way we got past that recently. My beautiful wife was taking a long trip with a friend, and had her Kindle reader with quite a few books on it. Just before she left I went online and ordered two books of erotic short stories for women, and I downloaded to them to her Kindle. While she was gone, she wrote that she’d found the books, and had been reading them, without sharing with her friend. One particular story, she said, was driving her crazy. In a good way.
When she got home, I was out of town for a few days, and I was warned that she’d been on the verge of going blind from the self passion she’d been enjoying from that particular story. After I got home, needless to say, I was invited to read the story in bed, and act out the steamiest parts. It was a great session, much appreciated by both of us.
For us, it was a safe and non embarrassing way to introduce new ideas, and it continues to work wonders.
Thanks for your great site. I’ve recommended it many times. Please keep posting, even if it’s to say, “All is still well at the ANR junction.” People love to see and hear that what started well, continues well. It’s affirming and normalizing to all who find their way here, looking for confirmation that they’ve chosen a path of comfort and joy and normalcy.
LW,
I wish more spouses were as open to sexual exploration as yours. Unfortunately, if you spend any length of time reading the message boards devoted to marital issues revolving around differing libidos or sexual territories as spouses, I think you will find that openness like your wife’s certainly seems to be in the minority. A lot of spouses haven’t even got the memo that “oral sex is okay and helpful to maintain intimacy in marriage.” Sadly, expanding a marriage’s sexual repertoire can be a minefield of misfortune and hurt feelings.
Among those less-open spouses, your approach could have resulted in “I didn’t know you were such a pervert; do you want to use a sippy cup too?” Such a less-open spouse might also have decided to cut off access to her breasts entirely as well, and because such prejudice tends to be well-ingrained, I doubt there is much you could have done to convince her otherwise. I hope that this blog, which does its level best to show how such a “fetish” (an odd designation since it involves no “equipment,” need not cost any money, inherently involves next to no possibility of harm for the participants, and shares a bounty whose source will make more as needed) is perfectly compatible with, and can even enhance, a “normal” sexual relationship, will go a long way towards fitting ANR/bosoming into the “mainstream.”
P.S. Do you think you could tell us where you bought the Kindle stories in question and which stories they were?
Some great points were made in your reply to L.W. It is so important to maintain an open mind within the marriage bed. Recognizing one’s own needs while still looking for new and imaginative ways to please one’s spouse is healthy for any marriage. Encouraging change and new ideas in a way that doesn’t put the other spouse off, but entices them to look forward with great anticipation to the new adventures is a great idea and will probably meet with a more favorable response.
Well, the idea of ANR/bosoming needs to become more widespread. People need to learn how beneficial it can be for a marriage or other intimate relationship. Once that meme starts being spread far enough, perhaps most people will see it with no more shock than they do oral sex.
Of course, there are always those whose “shock threshold” for this sort of thing is low. I guess that’s why broaching this subject early in a relationship, before commitment, is a good idea (though just how to broach it is an open question dependent on your situation and your partner). It’s far easier to replace a date than it is a to replace a spouse who is “terminally weirded out.”