In the recent six months I have met many other women who were either lactating or inducing. I have also had the gift of getting to introduce other women to lactation.
I was so fortunate to attend a Lactation Fetish and ANR support group meeting last night. Some of us got together and spent a few hours talking about our experiences and answering each other’s questions. There were five women present and two men, including my husband. Three of us women are currently lactating for adults or our ourselves, and two of the ladies were there to learn and consider their own journey. Other had RSVP-ed and could not make it. We hope to do it again.
I am not about to give the location out, simply because my blog here is so personal, and I have decided to keep my location as vague as possible. I met the others on a website for fetishes, FetLife.com. The site has some informative groups on lactation that I will be including in my links on the side of the page soon. I was pleasantly surprised to see the hundreds if not thousands of FetLife readers who are interested in lactation.
One of the ladies I have met through the site has become my closest friend, (outside of my husband.) She did not know that re-inducing was possible until after I had met her, but her interest in it lead us to more conversations, and we quickly became close friends. Our husbands are also friends. Needless to say, this is beyond anything I ever imagined for myself. After almost three years of not speaking openly about lactation, face to face, with anyone but my husband, I now have close friends and many acquaintances with who I can be open to, and accepted.
I like to think that my blog and many of the other blogs that have been around for the last few years are making a difference in the willingness of others to consider adding this extremely intimate relationship to their lives. In any case, I feel rewarded for my past efforts, and I am glad I can share this good news with you.
(As a journal entry, this is three and a quarter years into my journey.)
His Milkmaid
His Milkmaid,
I’m so extremely happy for you and your dear husband. What a joy to meet others, and be able to speak the words out loud and openly with other supportive people about the joy of ANR.
Thank you so much for all you do here, teaching, and offering a path to others, and being an inspiration.
Beautiful!
It’s great that you were able to connect with more people face-to-face about bosoming. It’s also great that you were able to convince more people of the benefits of bosoming and how closely it can bond a married couple in real life. Perhaps your new “closest friend” might be interested in posting her experiences on this blog or the LMH website?
But it’s still a pity that bosoming/ANR is still considered a fetish (partly because a lot of people can’t get past their prejudice that breastmilk is only for infants). It really doesn’t deserve that designation; it needs no “equipment,” need not cost any money if you’re just going the pure-nipple-stimulation route, has next to no possibility of harming the participants (barring mastitis or the like, but no real injury), and makes use of a bounty that will make more on an as-needed basis. It’s also a rarely-known and all-natural way of breast augmentation if you keep it up for long enough.
Speaking of getting more people to know about this, there was a recent thread on the LMH message board where some documentary makers were looking to interview a couple regularly engaged in bosoming. The original post date was the 28th of January; you might be interested in helping bosoming make its case that way.
Thank you both for your comments.
TCF,
Even though I don’t think of ANR itself as a fetish, there are some kinky fetishes that that include lactation, and I am not ashamed to admit that I think they are hot.
When a person gets really excited just watching milk ooze or squirt out of a nipple… or the idea of receiving a warm milk shower straight from the tap… there is a lot of milk play that has nothing to do with the intimate connection of ANR. Then when a couple ventures into power exchange and lactation plays a part, it is definitely kinky in a wonderful sort of way. There is no reason why lactation can’t have multiple roles in a couple’s life.
I guess for some people it might “pollute” the whole idea they have of ANR, but for many who I have met, it is not a problem. It is like intercourse; there is romantic love making, and there is hot passion, or even kinky sex just for the fun of it. The marriage bed remains undifiled as long as both consent to participate. They can enjoy the play as much as the love.
I enjoy romance as much as the next girl, but dispersing with it and getting down to the physical enjoyment of each other’s bodies is good too. It is especially nice within the confines of a secure relationship like marriage.
I know that for some people the word fetish entails the idea of obsessive behavior or loss of selfcontrol. For some it means the object of the fetish becomes necessary in order to have sexual satisfaction. Most that I have talked with about fetishes, use the term to mean “unusual sexual attraction,” and nothing more. At one time oral sex would have been considered a fetish, but now it is quite normal.
I am seeing ANR becoming more talked about. In some cases it is in a platonic relationship, but in most there are platonic sessions, yet it still plays a part in the couples sex life too.
The R in ANR is what makes it ANR. As I get around the forums I see there is just as much excitement growing in the idea of lactation and sex without the intimacy of the relationship. I think that the more lactation is accepted in the world of Kinksters, while at the same time kink is more accepted itself in the world in general, it can only help make ANR more acceptable too. It should do for ANR what porn has done for oral sex… raise awareness to what people are missing.
No, I don’t think that the sexual uses couples might have for breastmilk “pollutes” ANR. It’s just that the more people hear about breastmilk being used as an object of kink rather than as an all-natural way to bond a couple closer than they ever though possible, the more breastmilk will remain a taboo object to incorporate into a couple’s sex life. Certainly there is pleasure to be had from “breastmilk as an object of kink,” but I think the concept could definitely make a better first impression among those who haven’t heard of it before, if we started introducing them to ANR and its benefits first.
(Mind you, I’m a little leery of the concept of a platonic ANR. The hormones and resulting emotions it unleashes in both parties can very well push the participants towards behaviour they might later regret, which is why I personally wouldn’t recommend it except between people who consent to, and are comfortable with, getting sexual with each other over the course of an ANR. Witness how many unintended pregnancies resulted from a young couple’s heavy petting progressing to intercourse because “they just couldn’t control themselves anymore”–our biological wiring really can override our rationality at critical moments.)
It is good that you realize how the marriage bed can serve other purposes than just romance. It can be fun or pleasurably kinky as well. Unfortunately, from what I’ve read, some couples don’t realize this, and their sex lives stagnate as a result. Sometimes it can be due to the madonna/whore divide (perhaps you should make a post on that “false dichotomy” sometime). The old line “Oral sex? This is the same mouth I kiss my children goodnight with!” is sadly a result of that kind of thinking.
And yes, fetishes are infinite in their variety, just as the potential sources for sexual arousal are infinite. When people can get turned on by things like women’s footwear, or uniforms used by authority figures, or even things as obtuse as balloons being inflated or gas masks being worn “in the act,” you start to realize why the term “sexual fetish” was used (didn’t “fetish” originally mean an object that someone invested undue personal significance in, or believed it had more influence on reality than it actually did?). Among the infinity of fetishes, exchanging “white for white” looks positively ordinary, if only it didn’t run into the “breastmilk is for infants only” prejudice.
I hope you can continue to network in this fashion and meet people in person to show them how much of a boon to an intimate relationship bosoming can be, and possibly how much fun it can also be. And perhaps some of the right ones will join the list of bloggers here one day.
Great comments TCF! I know I can always count on you for a well thought out response.
Thank you.
I wish I could do the Madonna/whore divide the justice it deserves. If I ever feel that I can, then I will do a post. Maybe I should just start one and let the readers do the in put, I have tried to the “open post” thing here before and it never goes anywhere.
I am with you on the platonic ANR opinion. I think it is possible for it to be non sexual, at least at the start for some relationships, but it is not likely. Even the ones that start out that way will likely at least create an emotional bond between themselves over time. Then that emotional bond is likely to lead to sexual feelings if there is any physical attraction. Still, it does happen. I have heard people talk about successful platonic ANRs in the forums. I would caution against trying it in delicate situations where becoming sexual creates a crisis, just to be on the safe side.
It is just as likely to create a problem for those who think they can have an ANR in an affair outside the marriage. People think they can go into it and stay detached emotionally. That is even more unlikely that staying non sexual. Then they will start attributing a lot of their feelings to something more than it really is. The idea that love is blind… well ANR is even more so in my opinion. The euphoria and the consistency in which it is renewed at regular intervals has a lot of influence… the law of unintended consequences applies.
The bonding hormone oxytocin is also created in orgasm, but sex is not as often kept on regular schedule the way suckling in an ANR is.. unless it follows the suckling in an ANR, which in many cases it does. It enhances intimacy and creates that falling in love feeling. It would be a shame to leave a spouse for the person in the affair and later find out you had nothing worth leaving for, outside the ANR.
We discussed unintended consequences like this in our support meeting.
His Milkmaid,
I loved reading your journal and now find I’m experiencing many of the same feelings and events, but on a slower speed it seems. I also checked out fetlife’s lactation group and while they have great sources of information, the majority seem to be of the opinion that producing breast milk is not possible without the use of domperidone.
If I recall correctly, you did not use any herbs or drugs to induce. Am I correct? Are you still producing without the use of stimulants? I’m curious as to what your “maintenance” regimen is like. How many suckling and/or pumping sessions a day, etc. to keep things going for such a long time! I checked your journal again but didn’t seem to find any specifics at the 2 year mark.
I guess I’m thinking that if I do take the dom, I wouldn’t want it to be long term. I’m hopeful that it is possible for me not only to induce without dom but that it is possible to continue without its use.
Thanks for any info you can provide!
I too was wondering the same thing. I’m in the 20th week and seem to be progressing very slowly. Just recently started taking Dom but don’t want to be on it very long.