What do many women have in common with irons? In order for most of us to respond to and/or instigate sexual play  in the bedroom (bathroom, the woods, etc.), we need to be warmed up…just like irons.  How this is accomplished is probably different for each woman. However, talking with my women friends over the years has revealed some very common needs.

Of course there are exceptions…many women have reported becoming quickly aroused and have enjoyed many a “quickie”; I enjoy these from time to time, but even my quickies are fueled by thinking about sex throughout the day which serves to warm me up in preparation for those encounters. Thinking about sex with my husband when we are busy throughout the day definitely put our sex life on the fast track…it was the catalyst for my very own sexual reawakening earlier this year. The mind is a very powerful thing

Attitude is everything! Have you heard that phrase before? Well, maybe it’s NOT everything, but it sure goes a long way in many aspects of my life. My thinking about sex and all of the fun filled fantasies that I cook up for my husband have led me to think of myself in a different light. For the first time in my life, I started to think of myself as sexy! Oh, I always knew that my DH thought of me that way, but it is truly a different thing when a woman starts thinking about herself that way especially out of the bedroom. “Sexy” is an attitude that I have come to enjoy…it makes me feel beautiful and even more desired by my husband. I will never forget the day that my grown children attended church with us one Sunday. One of my daughters had her arm around my waist while singing, mine around her back. As we began to sit down after singing a hymn, she unintentionally slid her hand down my backside. The dress I was wearing was not tight, but the fabric allowed her to feel right through to my undies. Imagine the look on her face when she asked me, “Mom, are you wearing a thong”?! Thank goodness I didn’t go commando that day! LOL. My new sexy ‘tude has carried over into my clothing…not being trashy or immodest…but with a few new surprises. Oh, what was my response to my daughter’s question? I replied, “Honey, I may be old, but I’m not dead yet”!

Talking with my mate! Truly the most intimate thing that my husband can do with me is to TALK with me. Recently, I read this poll that asked what men and women wanted most in a relationship. To my surprise, it was friendship for both. But that really makes sense doesn’t it? Both sexes want to have a trusting friendship first and foremost with their significant other. Think back to when you were first dating your one true love. I bet you spent hours talking on the phone or in person. You couldn’t spend enough time together or hear one another’s voice often enough. Even though we are married some years now and are together much of the day, I still love the sound of my husband’s voice…it is extremely sexy to me. I love it when he calls and leaves me a message on my cell phone; I save his voice messages. When you combine his touch with his voice together it sends me over the edge. When Hubby talks to me throughout the day it really warms me up…like that iron.

About human touch. Volumes have been written on the subject but this will be brief. My husband and I reach out to one another throughout the day. It is so reassuring and comforting. His touch sends tingles all over my body and his smile makes me feel “butterflies” in my belly. Our touch, through a kiss, hug or grazing of a hand over a waist, no matter how brief seems to say, “I notice you; I love you” without using any words. It is a powerful thing.

His eyes! Oh, girls…does your man give you “that look”? I can’t even describe it. It is a look that just melts my heart and excites me all at the same time. It is a look that is reserved only for me…his girl. It is sacred and precious. I am tearing up right now as I see it in my mind’s eye. So many non-verbal cues can be used to make sure that your mate knows that you treasure them, love them and are desirous only of them.

Most women and men fulfill multiple roles in their marriages and families. As women, many of these years are spent being a wife, mother, student and wage-earner…often coming home exhausted only having to start dinner the minute they walk in the door. Men are tired too, mentally and physically from the heavy demands regarding work, school and the responsibilities they bear for their families. The realities of life, hard work both in and out of the home drain us of precious time and energy. But intimacy with our mates must be kept a priority…it keeps us connected in a way that is not shared with anyone else. It is precious, priceless and critical. Intimacy comes in many forms. Some couples experience tremendous challenges…emotional and physical challenges that dictate being more creative to achieve intimate closeness, but it is so worth it. Many of you may being experiencing some of these challenges right now. Please share with us on this very important topic. Everyone has different and unique challenges when it comes to maintaining intimacy. No one is exempt.

These are some of the most prominent thoughts that came into my mind regarding how I get “warmed up”…there are others. Everyone is different and you may have different thoughts or needs that you would like to share with us here. Don’t be shy; you never know how your experiences or advice might help others.

Blessings to you and yours,

Luvmyhub